Halloweeeeeeeeeeen.....

Tomorrow is Halloween and I don’t have any party to go to. But please don’t be sad at the lack of my social life on a Saturday night. I am reaching the middle aged mark and love it when I spend a quiet evening at home with my doggie poohs. Tomorrow night will be the same with one minor addition…

Tomorrow night I shall enjoy a selection of horror movies…. Heee Heee Haaa haa (this is my scary evil laugh).  My list includes a Korean movie as well because they make it fucking scary…. After watching these, their English counterparts seem a tad fizzed out. For example: While watching the movie Janghwa, Hongryeon(A Tale of Two Sisters -2003), I pooped in my pants. However its English remake The Uninvited (2009) failed to raise a squeak from me.

So my list for the Halloween weekend is as follows…

The Babadook (2014)

Juon (2002)

Poltergeist (1982)

Insidious (2010)

Bhoot (2003)

What is Halloween without a good scare!!! What Say…. 

Durga Pujo!!!!

It is that time of the year again when my head and heart grooves its way to Durga Pujo.  I am against all forms of loud noises and wasting of money in the name of God when the same can be used for betterment of the needy. 

 However, Durga Pujo is when the little Bengali Girl inside my head pops up big time and wants new clothes. She also wants to do mandap surfing and eat unhealthy fried food items that are available in the mandaps.

This is the time when I selfishly rejoice the dhuno smell, dhunuchi naach,  dhaakis dance while playing the dhaak,  overly attired  & bejeweled aunties, random political and sports talks from uncles, pimply teenagers stealing glances of the opposite sex OH and yes the BHOG… all the great food of the world one side and bhog still wins.

These are the things my heart wants during the pujas, but what I actually do is go to office and work like it’s just another day or if it’s the weekend I stay at home and enjoy the company of my furry babies…

Image courtesy - biswajitgogoi.blogspot.com & www.travelindia-guide.com

Lunacy at its Peak...

The other day I was doing a marathon of this new TV show Zoo. It is based on the sci-fi book by the same name written by James Patterson & Michael Ledwidge; wherein animals try to rid the earth off the most dangerous threat -- Humans... Obviously dog lovers die fairly quickly because you know they have dogs and animals are killing humans now... Duh!!!

Though I cannot imagine even in my worst nightmare that my babies would ever turn on me, I'd think we as a human race in general have lost the humane touch and have become the big bad predator that we were afraid of an eternity ago. 

I'd say the way in which we are hurting nature and its children, either the planet will self-destruct soon or may be... just may be... a total annihilation of human race might just rebuild the planet. And I wouldn't even feel bad dying for the cause. 

Please Note: This is not a promoted post.  I am writing about this just because I want to and I can...

Color me Black and call me Practical..

Ganpati is coming!!! While it is a cause of joy for many, some of us find it disturbing. Not for the fact that it is Ganesh Chaturthi, but for the immense traffic issues, loud noises, increased pollution level and wastage of money. Puja, meditation, self-cleansing is excellent, however, is it necessary to invest so much money in building larger than life effigies that would ultimately go in our already dirty water bodies at the end of 11 days.

We are faced with so much of natural and man-made disasters that these funds can be directed towards helping those are affected and in needs to basically SURVIVE… That being the first point, which God would like to come and stay with you if you cause so much noise pollution with a huge band party, god forsaken fire crackers and loudspeakers screaming the latest item numbers in vogue. I honestly doubt that Lord Ganesha would like to know if Mary is sau takka teri or not… Gods must be crazy to arrive and stay at such a place and that too for 11 days.

I am a proud Hindu and as a part of my tradition worshiping the Gods come naturally. 

However, I believe that just because we built huge idols to celebrate Ganpati, Durga Puja, Kali Puja and others in the yesteryears, we should continue doing it now.  It seems to me that nowadays more than the actual devotion, the pompous show has gotten the upper hand.

Times are changing and we need to be more careful towards our planet now. I may sound like a lunatic here but we are torturing Earth so much that there will come a time when we will not have a planet to live in.

In simple words, I am not bitter towards any religion’s beliefs; it is the redundant grandiose I am against… 

Being Fat...

It is a universal truth that I am over weight (read fat)… Believe me, it is not my ideal state of affairs to be fat or whatever… However, I also know for a fact that it is nobody’s business to determine how I should look… like fat or thin, long haired or short haired, whether I should wear salwar kameez or jeans, or whether or not I should wear shorts… I totally believe it is my decision & I will most definitely make a choice keeping in mind my comfort level and common sense as well… I am fat not an idiot.

Oh how I deviate from the original topic… (Probably need to get my head examined for constant deviation)… The reason I started writing regarding my fatitude is because recently I went tee shirt buying… OMFG!!! It was a regular trauma session. Things turned out the following way…

a)    Tee shirts of my correct bust/waist size were so long that I could button them up from below and I’d wear a baby suit, wouldn't need a jeans.

b)    Tee shirts which were correct in length, made me look like a giant sausage

After much ado and trials, I finally found a tee shirt which was perfect. I was still basking in the glory of finding the perfect tee, when the sales woman opened her smelly mouth and said ‘madam aapko thoda weight loss karna chahiye’ (madam, you should lose some weight)!!!!

I wonder if people give unsolicited advice to others about their looks and life because it is free or unloading crap on to others makes a person feel superior. 

I had such vicious ideas to torment her on so many levels just for my sadistic pleasure… but I just popped the tee back in its place and walked away before I slapped her silly.  

Empty Mind Devil's Workshop

I believe everyone should work. If not for a living then maybe to nurture your hobby, to help people/animals or just so that you are not bored. It need not be a physical labor that you are unable to do, just do something... anything for that matter. 

Clichéd but absolutely true is empty mind devil's workshop.  If you have nothing to do then your mind wonders and shitty ideas come out. Insignificant things make you feel that the world is out to get you and you spiral into finding ridiculous methods to avenge yourself. 

However, from the other side you seem to be a good-for-nothing, evil, irritating piece of crap who has no work but to be a road block for everyone else. 

So if you know anyone who is like this... please urge that the jerk should find some work and get to it... 

Aging My Way

My friend's twitter post "35 and rocking" reminded me of the fact that next month I will be 36. It just seems like yesterday that I was in college and my biggest worry in life was the assignment at hand. 

Some people I know, tell me that "umar ka lihaaz karo" (consider your age before you do things) and stop wearing superhero/cartoon print tee shirts, stop watching cartoons and most definitely stop wasting money on graphic novels and other memorabilia...

I don't know how to act my age, honestly I have never been 35 until this year, and while I get used to the fact that I am 35, I will become 36 and the cycle will start again. 

People have midlife crisis, I have identity crisis. How can I change who I am just because I am older and the most important question is Why Should I? 

While I am trying to say I want to remain unchanged, I am definitely NOT comparing myself to a 20 year old because their exuberance kills me at times. 

I am a 35 year old, grumpy, graphic-novel-reading, weird-tee-wearing, cartoon-watching, potty-mouthed person and will NOT change...